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                            被幽默笑話

                            來源: 時間: 2019-06-07 15:39:58 人氣: 9
                             被幽默笑話
                              暖媽總是在溫暖著我們的心
                              1、什么是中國好母親。。。
                              買衣服見服務員妹妹挺漂亮,給我打電話:兒子啊,今天出門著急忘帶錢包了,
                              我把這妹妹的微信號給你,你給她發紅包轉賬把錢付了!
                              哈哈。感動流淚,果然是親媽。。。
                              2、去女朋友家吃飯,伯母親切地對我說了句讓我很感動的話:
                              “跟你說啊,連了我們家的WiFi,你就是我們家的人了。”
                              3、母親節,響應號召對老媽說我愛你。
                              宿舍一兄弟撥通電話,憋了半天最后柔柔的說道:媽,我愛你!
                              那邊慌忙問道:兒子,你怎么了?遇到什么事了,千萬別想不開呀。。。
                              ----------------------
                              幽默段子里二貨特別多
                              1、和老婆去菜市場買雞蛋。
                              老婆說:“聽人說買帶蟲眼的青菜比較保險,現在這雞蛋也有假的了,怎么分辨?”
                              我說:“挑帶雞屎的。”
                              2、去買飲料,前面的女客人點了一杯烏龍綠。
                              老板問她:“冰塊?”
                              女客人就說:“正常!”
                              老板又問:“那甜度呢?”
                              那個女的居然就把手指放在臉頰上說:“跟我一樣甜。”
                              只見老板轉過頭去對后的人喊:“烏龍綠無糖一杯!
                              3、路過餅店,我進去說道:“老板!拿幾個老婆餅,不加餅。”
                              老板:“呵呵,滾。
                              ------------------
                              人小鬼大的女兒
                              1、小王中午吃東西時一不小心把他鑲的那顆大金牙咽肚子里了,
                              因而每次上完廁所沖之前,都會用塑料棒攤開找找,我覺得的惡心,
                              便忍不住問道:“就算你找到了又能怎么的?”
                              小王笑道:“這玩意兒好幾萬呢!找到了當然是洗洗再鑲上了!”
                              聽完我直接吐了。。。
                              2、吃完飯,心里堵的慌,便在客廳里抽煙,女兒一邊看動畫片一邊警告我,
                              看我沒有反應,便去廚房找我老婆告狀。
                              老婆:“我知道了,但媽媽現在手沒空,你幫我收拾他吧!”
                              女兒學著我老婆的樣子,一手叉腰一手把我手里的煙掐掉,
                              罵道:“老賈,你丫是不是想死呀!一天到晚就知道抽抽抽,你忘記了你叔怎么死的嗎?
                              肺癌!你說你這么大人了,怎么還像女兒一樣不懂事... ...”
                              正說著女兒好像想起了什么,也不管我了,
                              回去廚房對我老婆抱怨道:“媽媽,我怎么就不懂事了... ...”
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